Body Image

Motherhood As of Late

February 21, 2017

I’m a mom now.
I feel like I have so much to share these days but I am afraid to because I have no polished photos and everything is soooo beautiful in the IG world that it feels like nobody reads it if you don’t post the perfect image. And selfishly I want people to be instrested in what I have to say.
But today I don’t care I just want to write. First off I am soooooo tired. Insanely tired. Rosey has been sick once last week, and once the week before so sleeping (if it wasn’t shit already) has been awful the last couple of weeks.
Sometimes my brain is so sleep deprived that I say dumb shit that doesn’t even make sense and then I laugh because I’m not even making sense and it’s just weird and freaky.
Duuuuur, I say to myself. And then I smack my forehead and crack up.
Anyways, every time I look in to my daughters eyes I am filled with a rush/gush of overwhelming love. I feel like it’s even bigger than what we (as humans) know about love. It’s otherworldly, to describe it in one word. I want to give her everything, do everything, be everything for HER.
Also, I really miss being out in the world with adult humans. One of my biggest fears is that I will die never having advanced in my career and although I thoroughly love being a stay at home mom right now, I also know that I have a purpose outside of our home. And that is to help support women that struggle with food and their body image. Every day I find myself aching to get back in to it full force but the thing is when you don’t sleep a full night in a few months, your drive to be out in the world and hustle isn’t really there. I have to repeatedly make space every day for where I am in my process of motherhood and honor that. For now, I only work with a few clients and take care of my baby, myself and our home. This is HARD my friends. I’m used to having my own paycheck and I actually like to work and feel it is important for my personal growth.
What else? I don’t really like my body right now and it’s weird for me to say it because for crying out loud I support other women to love theirs. But the truth is when women go through major life changes the transition part makes us feel kinda crappy in our bodies. I’ve seen it professionally and personally over and over again. Ladies that are currently having a hard time with their bodies, take note of this. Are you going through some type of transition? Your ‘yuck’ feeling may have to do with it. I hope (for myself) that I feel good in my body sometime soon. For now, I accept that I won’t love it and that’s ok.
That’s all!

What To Do If You’ve Gained Weight And You Don’t Want To Diet

March 2, 2016

What to do if you've gained weight and you dont want to go on a diet

So if you haven’t already heard about it I’ll just speak briefly because I want to keep this space as real as possible. I made a vow to myself in early September that I was going to put more effort in to my business than I ever had before. I was really going to go for it in a way that I hadn’t. I knew that I was going to be pushed to my edge and do things that felt really uncomfortable but what I didnt expect was that I wasn’t going to get results in the time frame I had hoped for. So, when it didnt happen it completly crushed me.

Not only that but I had some financial stuff come up, that super freaked me out. Truth be told, I got tested in ways that I hadn’t in a while. And it was a really hard and long emotional process for me in which sometimes I was pulled under with a lot of grief. Mostly because when you know you have a bigger calling and you want to help as many people as possible and it doesn’t exactly play out like that. Its hard and scary. My career is my world, my passion and my dream trying to come alive.

So guess what happened??? For the first time in four years my clothes actually started fitting me differently. Things got tighter and I put on a little weight. I really struggled with my body image for the entire month of December and January. What was the most disheartening was the fact that nothing changed with my eating habits and I was still really active. And, I gained weight. If I thought weight stuff would never test me again I turned out to be wrong. My weight fixation was still buried deep inside me to a point where when things didn’t go my way and my body changed it was really hard to feel good and love myself. But, even more so I found it hard to be happy and experience joy. Even a few of my close friends and family members became worried about me.

I wasn’t sure what to do.

I knew restricting calories wasn’t an option for me.

I knew I couldn’t exercise any more than I allready was since I’m pretty active.

SO..I DID NOTHING. For a while.

And, I waited patiently and ackowledged that this shit was hard and pissed me off. Why the hell do I have to deal with this?? Why can’t someone else go through this? I felt all of it. I gave myself the time and space to look at that part of myself that still feels my self worth and beauty is dependent on my weight.

And then february rolled around and I realized that I wasn’t having fun anymore because I didnt like how I looked.

So I decided to say fuck it and go back to my basic principles of what to do when you’ve gained weight and you don’t want to go on a diet. And now I want to share it with you in hopes of giving you some insight if this happens to you.

1- I got rid of everything that was tight on me and got some bigger jeans.

2- Then I purchased a few pieces that I thought made me feel/look beautiful.

3- I continued to only move my body for the sole purpose of joy. Anything else I skipped. Even though it could have potentially helped me get the weight off.

4- I stopped trying to cut corners with food (not treating myself a lot) and started eating for vitality and shocker alert…. Pleasure!!!!

5- I relearned to really focus on what was awesome about me from the inside out and holy shit! I can honestly say I have a lot of beauty coming out of my heart that can never be affected by a five pound weight gain. Turns out that I AM ENOUGH!!!!

6- I tell myself I am waiting this one out and that love heals everything. And my self love has gotten more real+raw this time around because NOW I KNOW FOR SURE that everything can change even when you are doing all the right things. The one thing that you can hold on to is love and acceptance. Even if things aren’t the way you want them to be.

Now, I want to encourage you to do the same. I’m gonna be honest. Gaining weight can be hard. But your reaction to it, is everything. Don’t be fooled that a clean diet and doing exercise that makes you miserable is a long term solution. It aint.

Self love is. Self love is. Self love is.

Share your thoughts below? Tell me what you resonate with in this post?




How to Feel Bad without Doing Anything Distructive

February 17, 2016

How to Feel Bad without Doing Anything DistructiveMost of you know by now that I’m looking at the bigger picture when it comes to healing your relationship with food and changing it from the inside out. If you don’t know how I coach people with food issues, you can read more about that here! 

One of the first things I look at is trying to get underneath why my clients are doing hurtful and destructive things with food and their bodies. And from that place I treat the problem.

Surprise! Almost all of the time it’s because they are feeling bad and they want to feel better so they try to fix the situation by eating, not eating, dieting , binge eating, over exersizing or not getting off the couch. You feel me?

Now in this day and age it is easy to never have to face your sh!@#$%.  There are so many things outside of yourself that can put a bandaid on your feelings.

Feeling lonely– Go on social media

Feeling fat– Google, ‘best diet to get skinny’. Go to Whole Foods or Instacart. Buy everything in site. Make yourself believe that this will be your answer.

Feeling sad– Go to the gas station and buy a bunch of candy.

Feeling bored– Get on your phone and go clothes shopping or eat to pass the time.

Feeling angry– Start yelling and screaming at everyone you know and blaming them.

We can literally go our entire lives without ever facing ourselves. This is scary because we will keep on doing things THAT FEEL GOOD FOR A LITTLE BIT BUT NEVER GET TO THE ROOT OF THE ISSUE. So we never feel a sense of wholeness and well being. Especially around food. In fact there is an over abundance of food in our culture but no one is satisfied. Ever wonder why??

Now if you are the kind of person that has tried every diet on this planet and still can’t get your eating or weight under control than continue reading. I want to help you learn how to feel bad without doing anything destructive.

Here is the truth about feeling bad:

You probably don’t know how to do it because no one ever taught you how to do it! And no one ever told you its normal.

If you are a human being having a human experience you will feel bad sometimes. In fact I’m giving you permission to feel bad.

Its not that bad! If you wait it out and do nothing to try to fix, change or manipulate the feeling in a destructive way, eventually it will change. The one truth is that things always change.

You can do something that will make you feel better in the long term:

Feeling lonely– Use it as a time to get to know yourself more intimately. Do something kind for yourself  for the sole purpose of YOU!

Feeling fat– Wait it out sister! Use this as a time to practice radical self acceptance of how your body is in the current moment.

Feeling sad– Call a friend. Tell them that you just want to be heard. Ask them to not give you advice.

Feeling bored– Read, go for a walk or write in your journal. How about daydreaming some??

Feeling angry– Kickboxing class, yell in to a pillow and use it as your punching bag or listen to music that reflects how you feel inside. Don’t change anything.

How do you allow room for your feelings? Share your experience below!




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