Chocolate

How to Feel Bad without Doing Anything Distructive

February 17, 2016

How to Feel Bad without Doing Anything DistructiveMost of you know by now that I’m looking at the bigger picture when it comes to healing your relationship with food and changing it from the inside out. If you don’t know how I coach people with food issues, you can read more about that here! 

One of the first things I look at is trying to get underneath why my clients are doing hurtful and destructive things with food and their bodies. And from that place I treat the problem.

Surprise! Almost all of the time it’s because they are feeling bad and they want to feel better so they try to fix the situation by eating, not eating, dieting , binge eating, over exersizing or not getting off the couch. You feel me?

Now in this day and age it is easy to never have to face your sh!@#$%.  There are so many things outside of yourself that can put a bandaid on your feelings.

Feeling lonely– Go on social media

Feeling fat– Google, ‘best diet to get skinny’. Go to Whole Foods or Instacart. Buy everything in site. Make yourself believe that this will be your answer.

Feeling sad– Go to the gas station and buy a bunch of candy.

Feeling bored– Get on your phone and go clothes shopping or eat to pass the time.

Feeling angry– Start yelling and screaming at everyone you know and blaming them.

We can literally go our entire lives without ever facing ourselves. This is scary because we will keep on doing things THAT FEEL GOOD FOR A LITTLE BIT BUT NEVER GET TO THE ROOT OF THE ISSUE. So we never feel a sense of wholeness and well being. Especially around food. In fact there is an over abundance of food in our culture but no one is satisfied. Ever wonder why??

Now if you are the kind of person that has tried every diet on this planet and still can’t get your eating or weight under control than continue reading. I want to help you learn how to feel bad without doing anything destructive.

Here is the truth about feeling bad:

You probably don’t know how to do it because no one ever taught you how to do it! And no one ever told you its normal.

If you are a human being having a human experience you will feel bad sometimes. In fact I’m giving you permission to feel bad.

Its not that bad! If you wait it out and do nothing to try to fix, change or manipulate the feeling in a destructive way, eventually it will change. The one truth is that things always change.

You can do something that will make you feel better in the long term:

Feeling lonely– Use it as a time to get to know yourself more intimately. Do something kind for yourself  for the sole purpose of YOU!

Feeling fat– Wait it out sister! Use this as a time to practice radical self acceptance of how your body is in the current moment.

Feeling sad– Call a friend. Tell them that you just want to be heard. Ask them to not give you advice.

Feeling bored– Read, go for a walk or write in your journal. How about daydreaming some??

Feeling angry– Kickboxing class, yell in to a pillow and use it as your punching bag or listen to music that reflects how you feel inside. Don’t change anything.

How do you allow room for your feelings? Share your experience below!

xo,

Soshy

 

Three Ways to Have Freedom Around Food

February 11, 2016

Freedom Around FoodLets be REAL. Everyone wants to have a relationship with food that doesn’t make them feel restricted in some way or another. Because human beings don’t do very well with restriction. In fact our brains are not designed for it and neither are our bodies. This is why it is soo freaking hard to stick to a diet of any sort. Even the ones where you know, very clearly, that the food you are eating will make you sick.

In my free initial consultations I always end off with… If you could have anything you want from food, what would it be? 100% of the time it’s always, “I JUST WANT TO BE FREE WITH FOOD”!

And I know exactly what they are talking about. What most people want is to:

A) Eat food that feels good in their body and gives them loads of energy.

B) Have the occasional treat and not go completely and totally overboard to a point of no return.

Doesn’t this sound excellent?!! Guess what? Its actually quite attainable.

In this post I’m going to share three ways to get on the path of having freedom with your food.

Stop restricting entire food groups

For realz though! Most people are heavily influenced from whats going on in our culture with food. And it goes something like this: Cut out food groups–get thin body–you will be happy. But this is so very far from the truth because oftentimes you do get that thin body but you are so miserable because you can’t freaking eat anything that you then binge on the very foods you had initially cut out, creating a miserable cycle with food. Have a variety of foods, from many different food groups, on a consistent basis. Your body and mind will be one happy camper.

Take your power back from the choices you make with food

Instead of saying “I can’t have that”. Say, “I don’t want to have that”. Instead of saying “F!@#$ it, I’m gonna eat that”! Say, “I am choosing to eat that”. Let me explain further… I hear this all the time and I’m going to use myself as an example. I’m really in to having organic produce right now because of a million different reasons which I won’t get in to (it’s not my weight, I promise!). Anyways, my hubby came home with a bunch of non organic sweet potatoes the other night and I almost yelled at him and said: “I can’t eat those”!, But I quickly caught myself and realized I don’t want to eat that right now because I am choosing not to. It took the stress out of the equation and I took my power of personal choice back. Meaning, if I really want something I’m going to conciosuly choose to say yes or no and not look at it as an, “I can’t have”, problem. When you do this your giving all of your power away to food. Give yourself the choice to say yes or no. It will make you feel much better after you are done eating.

Make sure you prepare for treats

Now this one may seem scary for those on the diet/binge cycle but practicing this could totally change your life and your habits so listen up! Your going to have the treats whether you like it or not and of that, I can promise you. But screw doing it in a way that leaves you with your face in a bag of chips and chocolate and a severe food hangover the next day. I want to challenge you to make a list of all of your favorite binge foods. Go out, but it and prepare to have some of it every day. What this will do is take the crazy out of the food. Especially if you practice it over and over and over again. Who knows, if you take your time eating it, you may even realize you don’t like it that much.

Want to have freedom around food?! Try it:)

xo,

Soshy

 

 

 

 

 

What foods are you not willing to give up for your perfect body?

June 23, 2014

_DSC4773Last week my girlfriend Karna, and I were sitting at the table picking though a box of chocolates. They were the  kind where you read all the flavors and then pick the one that you want. They’re one of my favorite kinds of chocolate because it feels just like a game! Read, go back and forth on your choice, choose, and then devour! As we were oohing and aahhing over the delicious flavors I said to her, “I feel like such a badass because I’m going clothes shopping later and I’m sitting here enjoying chocolate and I am not worried about whether things will fit me later on.”

We started to talk about how we used to be with food and our bodies and how far we have come and we marveled in how free we feel in being able to eat what we want and still have our version of, “the perfect body.” She asked me something really interesting, which is a great question I think everyone should ask themselves before attempting to make changes with food for,” the perfect body”.

“What foods, she asked, are you absolutely not willing to give up for the perfect body”?

I knew the answer immediately.

Hazelnut creamer with coffee in the morning, a couple of pieces of chocolate every day, cookies or ice-cream twice a month and at least one meal every now and then where I am not concerned over the amount or the ingredients. If I can have all that I am happy being in the body I am in, whatever that looks like.

If I cant have that, I am not happy being in the body that I am in even if it means I am 5 pounds thinner and have a more defined six pack. Why?? Because, even if I look that way it feels like my own version of hell, to not be able to eat in freedom. You cant appreciate being thinner if all you can think about is how you want chocolate or what foods you cant have. It doesn’t feel free and light and skinny when you have to be on a special diet to force your body to look a certain way.

So, I thought this was a good topic to talk about. Lets be straight here . We all, as women and men want to feel good in our bodies. We also want to look aesthetically good in our bodies and everyone has their own version of what a perfect body is whether its right, or wrong. Before you even attempt to get there, know that there has to be freedom emotionally and physically if you want to make changes long-term. Whatever changes you make with food here is the right question to start with:

What foods or treats are you absolutely not willing to give up for your perfect body?

Xo,

Soshy

 

 

 

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