Weight

What To Do If You’ve Gained Weight And You Don’t Want To Diet

March 2, 2016

What to do if you've gained weight and you dont want to go on a diet

So if you haven’t already heard about it I’ll just speak briefly because I want to keep this space as real as possible. I made a vow to myself in early September that I was going to put more effort in to my business than I ever had before. I was really going to go for it in a way that I hadn’t. I knew that I was going to be pushed to my edge and do things that felt really uncomfortable but what I didnt expect was that I wasn’t going to get results in the time frame I had hoped for. So, when it didnt happen it completly crushed me.

Not only that but I had some financial stuff come up, that super freaked me out. Truth be told, I got tested in ways that I hadn’t in a while. And it was a really hard and long emotional process for me in which sometimes I was pulled under with a lot of grief. Mostly because when you know you have a bigger calling and you want to help as many people as possible and it doesn’t exactly play out like that. Its hard and scary. My career is my world, my passion and my dream trying to come alive.

So guess what happened??? For the first time in four years my clothes actually started fitting me differently. Things got tighter and I put on a little weight. I really struggled with my body image for the entire month of December and January. What was the most disheartening was the fact that nothing changed with my eating habits and I was still really active. And, I gained weight. If I thought weight stuff would never test me again I turned out to be wrong. My weight fixation was still buried deep inside me to a point where when things didn’t go my way and my body changed it was really hard to feel good and love myself. But, even more so I found it hard to be happy and experience joy. Even a few of my close friends and family members became worried about me.

I wasn’t sure what to do.

I knew restricting calories wasn’t an option for me.

I knew I couldn’t exercise any more than I allready was since I’m pretty active.

SO..I DID NOTHING. For a while.

And, I waited patiently and ackowledged that this shit was hard and pissed me off. Why the hell do I have to deal with this?? Why can’t someone else go through this? I felt all of it. I gave myself the time and space to look at that part of myself that still feels my self worth and beauty is dependent on my weight.

And then february rolled around and I realized that I wasn’t having fun anymore because I didnt like how I looked.

So I decided to say fuck it and go back to my basic principles of what to do when you’ve gained weight and you don’t want to go on a diet. And now I want to share it with you in hopes of giving you some insight if this happens to you.

1- I got rid of everything that was tight on me and got some bigger jeans.

2- Then I purchased a few pieces that I thought made me feel/look beautiful.

3- I continued to only move my body for the sole purpose of joy. Anything else I skipped. Even though it could have potentially helped me get the weight off.

4- I stopped trying to cut corners with food (not treating myself a lot) and started eating for vitality and shocker alert…. Pleasure!!!!

5- I relearned to really focus on what was awesome about me from the inside out and holy shit! I can honestly say I have a lot of beauty coming out of my heart that can never be affected by a five pound weight gain. Turns out that I AM ENOUGH!!!!

6- I tell myself I am waiting this one out and that love heals everything. And my self love has gotten more real+raw this time around because NOW I KNOW FOR SURE that everything can change even when you are doing all the right things. The one thing that you can hold on to is love and acceptance. Even if things aren’t the way you want them to be.

Now, I want to encourage you to do the same. I’m gonna be honest. Gaining weight can be hard. But your reaction to it, is everything. Don’t be fooled that a clean diet and doing exercise that makes you miserable is a long term solution. It aint.

Self love is. Self love is. Self love is.

Share your thoughts below? Tell me what you resonate with in this post?

xo,

Soshy

 

How to Feel Bad without Doing Anything Distructive

February 17, 2016

How to Feel Bad without Doing Anything DistructiveMost of you know by now that I’m looking at the bigger picture when it comes to healing your relationship with food and changing it from the inside out. If you don’t know how I coach people with food issues, you can read more about that here! 

One of the first things I look at is trying to get underneath why my clients are doing hurtful and destructive things with food and their bodies. And from that place I treat the problem.

Surprise! Almost all of the time it’s because they are feeling bad and they want to feel better so they try to fix the situation by eating, not eating, dieting , binge eating, over exersizing or not getting off the couch. You feel me?

Now in this day and age it is easy to never have to face your sh!@#$%.  There are so many things outside of yourself that can put a bandaid on your feelings.

Feeling lonely– Go on social media

Feeling fat– Google, ‘best diet to get skinny’. Go to Whole Foods or Instacart. Buy everything in site. Make yourself believe that this will be your answer.

Feeling sad– Go to the gas station and buy a bunch of candy.

Feeling bored– Get on your phone and go clothes shopping or eat to pass the time.

Feeling angry– Start yelling and screaming at everyone you know and blaming them.

We can literally go our entire lives without ever facing ourselves. This is scary because we will keep on doing things THAT FEEL GOOD FOR A LITTLE BIT BUT NEVER GET TO THE ROOT OF THE ISSUE. So we never feel a sense of wholeness and well being. Especially around food. In fact there is an over abundance of food in our culture but no one is satisfied. Ever wonder why??

Now if you are the kind of person that has tried every diet on this planet and still can’t get your eating or weight under control than continue reading. I want to help you learn how to feel bad without doing anything destructive.

Here is the truth about feeling bad:

You probably don’t know how to do it because no one ever taught you how to do it! And no one ever told you its normal.

If you are a human being having a human experience you will feel bad sometimes. In fact I’m giving you permission to feel bad.

Its not that bad! If you wait it out and do nothing to try to fix, change or manipulate the feeling in a destructive way, eventually it will change. The one truth is that things always change.

You can do something that will make you feel better in the long term:

Feeling lonely– Use it as a time to get to know yourself more intimately. Do something kind for yourself  for the sole purpose of YOU!

Feeling fat– Wait it out sister! Use this as a time to practice radical self acceptance of how your body is in the current moment.

Feeling sad– Call a friend. Tell them that you just want to be heard. Ask them to not give you advice.

Feeling bored– Read, go for a walk or write in your journal. How about daydreaming some??

Feeling angry– Kickboxing class, yell in to a pillow and use it as your punching bag or listen to music that reflects how you feel inside. Don’t change anything.

How do you allow room for your feelings? Share your experience below!

xo,

Soshy

 

A How To Guide on Pulling Yourself Out of a Bad Body Image Day

February 13, 2016

Blog PhotoBad body image Days used to be the bain of my existence. It didn’t happen every single day but more often than not, I would get up in the morning and the first thing that would pop in to my head was, “I feel like a F!@#$% C!@#$%”. Following these thoughts I would run to the mirror, get naked, and pinch every ounce of my body, and then confirm everything I thought in my head to be completely, 100%, true. After that, it was a done deal. Not only would I be miserable for the rest of the day, or two or three days after that but it made me believe I had to starve myself or go on an extreme diet to “fix” the problem. The problem being ME and my fat.

I only found out years later, on my journey to healing my relationship with food and my body image, that I was the one who had to power to determine what I was going to do with the thoughts,  “I feel like a F!@#$% C!@#$%”. I could either let it ruin my day and become extremely reactive and hate on myself (which never made me thinner) or I could choose something a little more positive and lighter. So, even though it was some of the hardest choices I have ever made for myself, it paid off in the long run because over time I lost the extra weight I had gained and I developed a loving and compassionate relationship with my body. In this post I want to share my most proven tips to help you stay on track so that you don’t have to waste years of your life having bad body image days.

Your Thoughts are Not Your Reality

Your thoughts are thoughts, even if they feel like your reality. Imagine them like moving clouds. Watch and stay curious but don’t hold on because just as quick as they come through your mind they can be quick to leave if you stay put and let them move through you. Its only when we attach to our thoughts do they become our reality.

The Solution is Not A Diet

The answer isn’t dieting or using food to cope with your negative feelings about your body. Both can be true for you. You can either say, ” I hate my body and therefor I don’t care what I put in it, or you can say, “I look like shit, time to starve myself. But this reaction only puts you in a cycle with food that you don’t want to be in because you will diet, then fail and be back at the same place in no time at all. Instead, promise yourself to eat when your hungry, stop when your full and eat food that feel and taste good to you.

Move your Body

Go for a walk. Get your blood flow moving. This should never be about calorie counting type movement. It should be to the get the stuck energy in your brain and body moving so your not frozen in one place with your own negative thoughts.

Love is the Answer

Love is the game changer for everything that isn’t the way you want it to be. So, show yourself some love. Try to tell yourself, just for today your going to choose to love yourself and not hate yourself. Just for today, you are going to choose to accept yourself, not detest yourself. I know it sounds crazy but, love heals. Love prevails. Love is what you need.

Do you have bad body image days? If so, what do you do to pull yourself out of them?

xo,

Soshy

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